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Passing
Jan 31, 2009 11:27:49 GMT -5
Post by Trublu on Jan 31, 2009 11:27:49 GMT -5
I just finished reading this novel in one of my classes, it's called Passing by Nella Larsen. It is mostly about passing in a racial sense, as in, a black woman passing as white because her skin is so light. However, it does also address a little bit of passing in a sexuality sense, as in passing for straight if you are gay.
I know there have been a lot of opportunities for me to pass around family and friends. For the longest time, if any of my family would mention having a boyfriend, I would just say "yeah, not yet" and move on. In fact, I still do this when my grandparents ask, because they are very old fashioned.
However, I think I've gotten better around others, especially if someone is making a derogatory comment about a glbtq person.
Have you ever tried to pass as something, either actively or by just omitting information?
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Passing
Jan 31, 2009 11:40:27 GMT -5
Post by edwardjh on Jan 31, 2009 11:40:27 GMT -5
Yeah: when I volunteered at a retirement home a few years back, one of the residents said "I bet you attract all the girls". I just replied with a smile, as the older generation -tend- to be more conservative in their views.
I also am very cautious around my dad's side of the family, as they are middle-class, middle-aged, middle-minded conservative Catholics. I therefore doubt they'd have much tolerance for my sexuality.
As for people my age, if someone says something derogatory about the LGBT community or anything which suggests they did something unkind, I'll speak up. A couple of weeks back, a couple of kids in my Psychology class who are completely homophobic (they call each other "f*g**ts" and say "that's so gay" a lot) were talking about one of them "flirting" with someone who was gay on a social networking site.
For some reason, there is a greater need to be accepted by those closer to you as rejection by such people is more crushing.
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Terry
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Posts: 15
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Passing
Jan 31, 2009 14:51:45 GMT -5
Post by Terry on Jan 31, 2009 14:51:45 GMT -5
The few times people in my family bring up the subject of boyfriends, I just shrug it off with something in the lines of "maybe someday down the line" or "haven't found anything yet". I don't think there are many people in my family who would be upset that I'm a lesbian, but I don't really feel that I have to tell them before it becomes an issue, or I start dating someone. A funny little note though, last summer I was at the symphony with my 62 year old grandmother, we talked about the elections, and when we visited the topic of gay marriage/abortion, my grandmother said that she had nothing at all against gay people, since they couldn't help being gay. It was just who they were.
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Gethsemane
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100% Raised By Hyenas
Posts: 9
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Passing
Feb 5, 2009 20:55:05 GMT -5
Post by Gethsemane on Feb 5, 2009 20:55:05 GMT -5
That's so cool, Terry made me smile. My default tends to be to pass as straight by omission, which in a way I feel I shouldn't, but on the whole with how prone I am to anxiety it just ends up not being worth it. It doesn't help that I have a weird tendancy to find women more attractive in real life but men more attractive on screen & in pictures etc, so passing comments I make about people being hot tend to be about guys. I tell myself I'm going to make casual comments about women too but it doesn't end up happening... :/ Plus, most of the time I don't feel like it's relevant. So on the whole I'm very quiet about my sexuality, but I speak up about homophobic and transphobic stuff and I don't want to lie if I'm ever asked my sexuality (though I might refuse to answer if I knew the person asking was really 'phobic).
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